It’s been a while since the last update.
If you’re reading this, I’m already wearing sweatpants or shorts. Unless I’m in bed or showering. My t-shirt is either the one I slept in last night, or the one I’ll sleep in tonight. Solid chance that it’s both. Socks are likely pulling another multi-day shift. Disposable hospital underwear, loose elastic waistband.
It’s the ol’ good news/bad news routine around here this week. We all know the rules on what comes first.
The good news is that I’m getting stronger and gaining weight - Almost up to 150lbs. Even though I’ve only put on about 10 lbs since my release, it seems to be the 10 lbs that separates ‘sickly’ from ‘ehh - probably a distance runner’.
Sorry for the lack of updates. There’s much to tell, but no breaking news of real import. Just doing my time.
I’m still not able to eat. So here’s a little game we can play - Put your guess in the comments on the day I’ll first consume a pizza from Hutchins Garage again. Closest guess wins a pizza on me (airfare not included). People have asked me what the first thing I’ll eat will be, and that’s unfair because it’ll be whatever my health allows me to eat once my intestine is repaired. Be assured I’ll be eating a Hutchins pizza as soon as I’m allowed. So get your guesses in. On to less playful topics.
Looking like I'll be released on Wednesday, 8/24. That'll make it a full 40 days. Insert some joke about Noah's ark here. Maybe an Irish Rover's reference.
I'm still not able to eat or drink anything. They're just sending me home because I'm in good enough health to take my TPN at home. Karen's been trained on how to administer it, and y'all are witnesses if I end up dead because of some kind of 'bubble in the line' accident. That said, most of that life insurance benefit would likely end up with my kids, so maybe just let her slide this once. Leave vengeance for our children or theirs.
Hold your hands in front of you, palms down. Touch your pinkies together. Now touch your thumbs together as well. The shape you'll have made approximates the size of the open wound I have in my abdomen, 35 days into this hospital stay. I'll attach a photo - Not everyone is as squeamish as I am. Be aware my bellybutton has migrated far to the east.
They've given up on sewing the muscle layers back together for now. Far more important to get the bowels working. Can always circle around in a few months and do a hernia surgery if I'm up for that.
Last Friday's procedure to re-arrange my bowels ended with me still having an open wound for a belly. The wound is bandaged, but they hadn't sewn the abdomen back together so the wound could start to close. So I spent the next 2 days in bed, waiting for Monday when they said they'd stitch me back up.
Monday went to Tuesday. Tuesday morning brought the disappointing news that they weren't going to take any action until Wednesday. Wednesday came, and I got brought down to the OR. At this point, I hadn't left the bed since Friday, as the only things between me and disembowelment were gravity and a thin plastic bandage.
Friday's 2 hour procedure stretched to 9 full hours. By the end, my bowels were so swollen that they could not fit them back in the body cavity. So I'm technically still open. They're going to close me up on Monday.
They really think it wasn't going to ever work the way it was, and they think it will work the way it is now. Sounds familiar.
tldr: Come tomorrow, it's to be knives at dawn. Or maybe midafternoon.
Nurses and staff here at Duke - Even the travel nurses - Seem to ask the same questions. Inquires only yielded 'I can neither confirm nor deny that small talk training is a thing'.
tldr: No idea when I'll get out of here.
I'll just hit some of the mile markers of suffering over the past few days.
tldr: hopefully home by Saturday
They removed the NG tube from my nose to my stomach on Sunday night - Actually let me do the pulling. Gross and satisfying. Tube removal is a big step. Without the tube down your throat, they let you swallow things. Things like water and juice and maybe even someday (if you're good) hospital food.